My Immortal: The short and sweet version
by AliceImagined
Summary: This is my summary of the infamous fanfiction "My Immortal", by Tara Gilesbie.  I will be poking fun at this fic, and summarizing it to give everyone the things that really matter. Enjoy!  Rated T for language.


My Immortal, the honest version.

Chapter One. C:

AN: this is my true version of the fanfic "My Immortal." I'll be summing it up in a way that we all can actually read and laugh at, because even with proper spelling, there is not plot. So enjoy! :D

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We begin our journey with an awful authors note which is regrettably some of Tara's better spelling in this. She comes off like a homophobic brat and already half the readers have said "Fuck this shit." And left, like any sane person would.

After we get through that mess of an authors note, we meet our main character, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. She has about a billion names and seems like such a poser that half of the remaining readers have shot themselves to escape. We go on for about 3 fucking paragraphs describing how Ebony ( most of the time spelled Enoby, or some variation of that) is dressed that particular day, and some other useless shit. In like 5 sentences, the only relevant thing she thing she tells us is that shes a witch and a vampire that goes to Hogwarts.

After the lengthy description of her shitty clothes, we find our main character walking outside, where it is snowing and raining at the same time. Someone glances her directions and she gets pissed off, and flicks them off. Then, the goth version of Draco Malfoy shows up, obviously having a crush on our little Mary Sue character. He talks to her for about 2 seconds before she ditches him to hang out with her friends.

Chapter 2~

We return to our lovely journey to find that our heroine wakes up in her room, and sleeps in a coffin with pink velvet. After we waste half of the chapter reading about the detail of her and her best friend "Willow" and what they are wearing, we get down to what little plot there is. We find out that like everyone is in love with Ebony, and she likes Draco sooooooooooo much. After that, Draco asks her out to a muggle concert in fucking Hogwarts, and she flips a shit, because shes so happy. Then she gasps, to create suspense, and we end our chapter.

Chapter 3 and 4~

We start out with a random time skip, for who knows how long, to the night of the concert. We go through some more useless detail about Ebony's clothing and accessories, and whoever is reading that shit is praying to God to smite them.

After this, she slits her wrists and listens to emo music, while reading a book( probably about how shitty her spelling and grammar is.) Then she goes outside, where Draco has somehow managed to get a car into Hogwarts and drive it around. They talk, then fly to the concert, which is about a minute away. They smoke cigarettes and drugs in the car. Where they got those from, I don't know.

Then, we find ourselves at the concert, where they are moshing to Good Charlotte, and Ebony keeps telling Draco how hot the singer is. This just screams "you're in the friend zone bitch!" to me. Sorry Draco. Anyways, Ebony tells him some sappy crap, then they get into his car, drive to the Forbidden Forrest, get out of the car and have sex on the first date. Then, Dumbledore walks in on them and screams the most memorable line of the whole goddamn fic, "WHATTHE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

Chapter 5~

We start off with Dumbledore dragging the two(apparently still nekkid) teens to talk to Snape and McGonagall. Why she is there, I have no idea at all. McGonagall yells at them, Draco confesses his love for a girl he just slept with and probably got pregnant, and Snape lets them go. We follow Ebony through some more shitty detail about her clothes, then her and Draco kiss and we, thankfully, are done with this chapter.

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Dear god, Tara raped the English language with this fanfiction, I hope you all enjoyed the short and sweet version of her first 5 chapters, I'll have more soon. :D


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